No one is safe. Well, actually all are but five and you know who you are.

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OK. There’s really no danger here. No threats, you can all go about your business. Unless your names are Charles Osgood, Matt Lauer, George Stephanopoulos, Jon Stewart (again!), or Joe Scarborough. Yes, that’s right. I’ve expanded my scope and my sights are set on all of you.

3672431944_d66a49917e George, think how good it would be for your career!

I have to believe with the quality of the subject of my book Arn? Narn., at least one of you will see the incredible merit in featuring this book on one of your shows. If not, then the only conclusion that can be drawn is one of collusion. And we know what the government thinks about that.

So, here’s your opportunity. For those of you who have been hiding in a Afghan cave somewhere or just haven’t been reading my book, (George, Charles, Jon, Joe, and Matt,) here’s your chance to get a first hand exclusive. We know you all want ratings and now you can scoop the other, but be quick about it. However, in all fairness, I would give each of you this opportunity.  But only one can be first. Hell, you all have had Joe Biden almost simultaneously on your show. What gives?

8407419409_b376faf9aa Really?

In the next day or so to prove to you I’m serious, I’ll be sending all of you a press kit and a signed copy of my book. Please find an honored place for it on your book shelves, but not before reading it and then calling me.

For the morning shows, it would be a good placement before the cooking segments and before Kathie and Hoda start drinking. For Joe, pretty much anytime, but maybe Mike Barnicle would be good. Sunday, I’m open. I just don’t want to put too much pressure on you.

The ball’s in your court now.

So what? Big deal.

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So the fish are gone in Newfoundland. So what? Big deal. Right? Wrong. So very wrong!

After more than twenty years, our species, the virus known as man, hasn’t learned a blasted thing. We are still fishing carelessly and without regard to the outcome and the future. Gotta have our sushi. Kitty has to have it’s food too. And what lunchbox would be complete without the prerequisite tuna fish sandwich, smell and all? Yet, what is the result of this? Here’s one example.

Resettlement is not a happy word in Newfoundland. In my travels, I visited several sites where once there had been outports (fishing villages) and now there was nothing; plowed under and grown over. People used to live and work there. Now, nothing to even mark their past. Get ready; it’ll happen in more places than we’d like. This is an article from the National Post illustrating what’s at stake.

‘Our little community’s dying’: Isolation prompts Newfoundland town to ask province for ‘resettlement’

Tristin Hopper | Feb 27, 2013 8:31 PM ET
Lockes' Stage on Little Bay Islands, Newfoundland and Labrador.

Adam Norman/Wikipedia Lockes’ Stage on Little Bay Islands, Newfoundland and Labrador.

Little Bay Islands used to be just another prosperous settlement on the Newfoundland coast: Ample jobs at the local crab processing plant, streets jammed with children, dances at the Orange Hall — and all of it within surroundings befitting a tourism ad: Cosy wood houses facing onto an iceberg-dotted Atlantic.

Now, the crab plant is long gone, every shop in town is shuttered and the population has plummeted to 72 from a one-time high of almost 800. Aside from a toddler and a pair of young teenagers, virtually the only islanders left are a few dozen widows and seniors, many of whom don’t have the money to leave.

“We all know our little community’s dying,” said one Little Bay Islands resident who preferred to remain anonymous.

Now, you can’t even get a soft drink

“One time, I’d say there was probably seven or eight stores here; you could go and buy whatever you wanted. Now, you can’t even get a soft drink.”

It is why, earlier this month, the nearly 200-year-old community applied for “resettlement,” a 60-year-old program in which the province issues everyone a cheque to leave town before cutting the power, suspending the ferry service and leaving nature to take its course.

“Since the crab plant closed down there’s no work here whatsoever … and nobody wants to be on EI if they can get away with it,” said Dennis Budgell, a Little Bay Islands town councillor who raised the issue with the province’s Department of Municipal Affairs.

Under the resettlement deal available to Little Bay Islands, if 90% of the community votes in favour, every household will stand to receive between $80,000 and $100,000.

So what, you ask? Big deal. Yeah, it is a big deal.

You think this is over? It’s over when I say it’s over.

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Back in December, I started calling out Jonathan Liebowitz, oops sorry, (you can take the boy out of the neighborhood, but…) Jon Stewart of The Daily Show fame to cover my photo-documentary book Arn? Narn. and the plight of Newfoundlanders. So far he has successfully avoided responding to my posts, tweets, (yes, I tweet now! Can the end times be far away?) and general internet nuisance. He is indeed made of hearty stock. Must be that peasant, New Jersey upbringing. Well, that’s OK. You see I’m from Jersey originally too. Game on!

It has beeen a matter of an immovable object meeting an irresistible force. Something’s got to give, Jon. So why prolong this? Why incur extra expense avoiding the inevitable? Yeah, I get it. Madeleine Albright is better looking than me. Well, that may be a stretch. Michelle Obama IS better looking and better known than me, but don’t blame me because I married a civilian. (Hey, I was young and in love!)

But, and this is a big one, neither knows much about Newfoundland and why it’s important in our planet’s future. It’s fish are gone and before too long, so will the rest of the world’s wild fish stock. You like sushi? Not that much longer. Gefilte fish? I know you do…fuggedaboutit. It won’t work with farmed catfish. Yeah, it’s THAT serious. So what are you waiting for?

Here’s review that speaks about the book’s importance.

Arn? Narn. by Bruce Meisterman

ANPRCD3 Photo by Bruce Meisterman

First sentence: “When you’re twenty years ahead of the curve, it really doesn’t matter that you’re right.”

Publisher’s Summary:  “Arn? Narn. is photographer Bruce Meisterman s first book. Arn? Narn. chronicles Canada s Newfoundland Island fishing culture on the road to its unfortunate demise. The black and white photography and interviews conducted by Meisterman showcase a community earmarked by minimalist living and deep community bonds, but broken by the cod’s disappearance.”

Bruce Meisterman is a photographer and the beauty of this book is in the photography. The text is sparse. Each chapter starts with a minimal yet informative narrative on topic and then the often full page photographs tell the rest of the story. Meisterman tells the story of the end of cod fishing in Newfoundland, the moratorium put on the industry in 1992 and the effect that has had on the fishing industry and the people. He explains that fishing is not just an industry to Newfoundlanders but a way of life born into these island people, a cultural heritage that defines their history, art, music, dance and craft. He paints a grim picture that is mostly blamed on over-fishing, government mismanagement, and greed. But as anyone knows who has visited Newfoundland (I haven’t) or knows a “Newfie” (I’ve known several) they can tell you that Newfoundlanders are not a downhearted people. They are down-to-earth people with no pretensions, full of the joy of life with a sense of humour and love of the folk arts born into them. Meisterman also tries to convey this in his book and succeeds to a point.

The choice of black and white photography both aids and hinders the author’s objectives. The desolate, stark countryside is powerfully represented in this medium, especially the winter scenes with the snow and ice along with the sandy shores of the lonely beaches and yet the beauty of the land is missing when we cannot see the green of the foliage and colours of wildflowers growing close to the ground on the rock. The death of the fishing industry is brought home with the b/w photos of clapboard homes, churches and graveyards and yet the life essence of the people is missing when we cannot see the bright colours used to paint houses, lighthouses, murals and folk art signs. Also the revelry of a kitchen party is missing when shown in black and white and yet the contrast between the joy of the people and the poverty of the economy is marked in this medium. An enchanting book with a sad tale told with optimism, but one that does not end on a sad note.

“Even now, Newfoundland is moving into its new reality…The Newfoundland spirit is anything if not indomitable.  A people who came to live at terms with the sea will find their way here as well.”

Review by: Nicola Mansfield

C’mon, Jon. You know you want to do this. I can be on the next plane. Just call.

Everybody’s talkin’…

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Well, not everybody but quite a few. I’d like to share a review from The Memphis Flyer of my book Arn? Narn. In the interest of full disclosure, it pretty much lets you know where I do my day job…(what, you think all authors drive Ferrari’s and sip Mojitos by the pool while channeling Norman Mailer? If only.) However, it is a good review and I think its author got it right. Hope you enjoy it. Certainly, if you’ve any thoughts or comments, I’d love to hear them.

Go Fish?by Leonard Gill

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Three trips to Newfoundland; 5,000 or so photographs: That’s what it’s taken for Memphian Bruce Meisterman to produce Arn? Narn. (Gosslee), his book of striking black-and-white photos of Newfoundland.

Five hundred years: That’s how long Newfoundlanders have been fishing for cod. In recent decades, though, the cod have largely disappeared from Newfoundland’s waters, and a way of life on this island off the coast of Canada is threatened with extinction. Is overfishing to blame? Trawling? Poaching? Climate change? And is this what’s in store for fishstocks globally? Hard to say for sure what’s to blame or what to predict. But no question about the words one often hears from one Newfoundland fisherman, as he heads out to sea, to a fisherman headed back in: “Arn?” (“Fish?”) “Narn.” (“No fish.”).

Meisterman — advertising director for MBQ: Inside Memphis Business, a sister publication of the Flyer — has had his share of local photography exhibits. (See his upcoming show at Askew Nixon Ferguson Architects, opening reception on December 14th.) And he’s doing a good job introducing Memphians to Newfoundland popular culture. (On Wednesday of this week, he joined Bruce Newman for a program of Newfoundland folk music on radio station WEVL.)

But the publication of Arn? Narn. is drawing the most attention, as it did recently at the Southern Festival of Books in Nashville, where interest in Meisterman’s work (and its warnings) was encouraging. So too the positive coverage of Meisterman’s book generally and particularly in a British magazine, which plans to make Arn? Narn. its book of the month in November.

Memphians have a chance to meet Meisterman when he discusses and signs copies of Arn? Narn. at the Booksellers at Laurelwood on Thursday. Doubtful, though, that Meisterman will be doing a book-store signing in Newfoundland. “Earlier this year, the last independent book store on Newfoundland closed,” Meisterman said. “Doesn’t mean I won’t be going up there for the book, though. I’ve made friends with many musicians. They’d love to host a signing.”

And at this point, Amazon is sold out until they get a new shipment. But you can still get them directly from the publisher at fjordsreview.com .

Lest you think…

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In 1992, the Canadian government shut down the fishing industry in Newfoundland for 10 years in hopes that the fish would come back. When they revisited it in 2002, they found the fish stocks were in worse shape than at the outset of the moratorium. It is now in place permanently. And apparently, outside of Canada, no one took notice of this catastrophe. For the rest of the world, it looked pretty much like an example of “It couldn’t happen here.” Yeah, right.

If we didn’t know this before, we now know better than that. Here is an article from the National Post illustrating that the Newfoundland disaster was not an isolated incident. This will happen across our planet with increasing frequency, yet there doesn’t seem to be anyone terribly concerned with it.

Aquaculture while an amazing achievement is not the answer. Our naturally reproducing fish are in grave danger of disappearing and still we harvest them irresponsibly. There are a few countries starting to act with an eye to the future, but until the rest of those countries contributing to this dilemma own up to their own hand in this, nothing will change except for the greater decrease of this natural resource.

Write letters. Make phone calls. Protest even. It is our “Today” and our children’s “Tomorrows.”

Twenty years later, New England fishery collapse mirrors Newfoundland disaster

Kelly McParland | Jan 31, 2013 11:36 AM ET

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Twenty years after Ottawa imposed a moratorium on Newfoundland’s cod fishery, northeastern U.S. states are looking at similar cuts as fishery officials argue for steep new limits in an effort to stave off disaster.

“The game is over” reported the Boston Business Journal, noting that one official called it “a day of reckoning.”

The New England Fishery Management Council voted Wednesday night to cut the catch limit on Gulf of Maine cod by 77 percent – although most members reportedly agreed the move was tantamount to shutting down direct fishing for cod, which has sustained New England’s inshore fishing industry for centuries.

The Georges Bank cod catch is to be cut by 66 percent.

The Gloucester Times reports the cuts are so severe, at least one council member argued for a complete shutdown of the cod fishery, altogether. ““I don’t see myself leaving the dock next year, I’m not sure we’re going fishing (anymore),” said Councilor Joe Orlando of Gloucester, according to the Times. Another Gloucester fisherman, Paul Vitale, said the “docks and the stores” will be quiet.

The New York Times report was similarly grim:

“We are headed, slowly, seeming inexorably, to oblivion,” said John Bullard, the regional administrator of the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration and a member of the council, as he explained his support for the catch limits. “I do not deny the costs that are going to be paid by fishermen, families, communities. They are real. They will hurt.”

The problem, he said, is not government inflexibility, as fishermen have suggested, but the lack of fish. “It’s midnight and getting darker when it comes to how many cod there are,” he said. “There isn’t enough cod for people to make a decent living.”

Fishermen were shocked by the decision, seeing it as the end of an industry that sustained their communities for centuries.

“Right now what we’ve got is a plan that guarantees the fishermen’s extinction,” one told the Times.

“I’m leaving here in a coffin,” said another.

The reaction mirrored the trauma that hit Canada’s east coast 20 years ago, when federal authorities declared a moratorium on cod, warning that years of overfishing had reduced stocks by up to 97%. Despite hopes that stocks might revive if left alone,  a decade later the federal fisheries minister announced the outright closure of the fishery in the Atlantic provinces and Quebec.

In New England, optimism is in short supply.

“We are headed down the wrong course here, of exterminating the inshore fleet, for no good reason,” David Goethel, a New Hampshire fisherman and council member, told the Associated Press.

“I’m bankrupt. That’s it,” said 40-year-old Gloucester fishermen Paul Vitale, a father of three. “I’m all done. The boat’s going up for sale.”

National Post

Thoughts on lessons maybe learned.

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Arn? Narn. has been out now for nearly four months. It’s been a wonderful period with much to be thankful for. Sales have been good, reviews have been even better, the Newfoundlanders who have seen it seem to like it. It’s all good. I just wanted to take some space on this post to share a few random thoughts in no particular order about what I experienced and expected while doing it.

Red's Lounge 2 Alas, no longer – Red’s Lounge (unpublished from Arn? Narn.)

What we want will never be on our time table. It’ll happen when it happens. Nine years from conception to market would not have been my idea of a good time table. But, it did happen. There are always too many things out of my control.

Gratification can come from the most unexpected place or person and in a most surprising fashion. Always be open to new ideas and experiences.

No matter how good the work is, it can always be better. No matter how bad you think it might be, it is always much better than that. At some point, you will have to let go and launch it.

Do not ever lose sight of your goal. Others may not “get it”. That’s OK. Actually that’s fine. There’s a real satisfaction in proving otherwise.

Be single-minded in your determination to make it happen. Discouragement will happen, probably more than you would like. But be on the lookout for signs. Throughout the process there were several “bites” on the book only to have them back off at some point. I learned from those that the book did indeed have merit. All I needed was fortitude.

Your book is not perfect no matter how hard you worked on it. Your publisher/editor will have ideas that can improve it. Really.

Take immense satisfaction that you will have accomplished what only a small fraction of authors set out to do.

Share freely and openly what you’ve learned with other aspiring authors. Why not?

Be humble, gracious, and thankful.

Start work on your next book as soon as you can.

Write a blog as a journal of your journey. It is a great reference for you and others. It helps keep alive and move the project along until eventual publication. You can build some audience anticipation with it as well.

Keep researching your subject even after the book is done. You will be asked questions that you may not have thought of while writing the book. Stay current. See above photo of Red’s Lounge. I learned only two weeks ago it is no longer open. It was the only bar on the island of Ramea.

Realize that your creativity cannot be turned off or on at will. In those times where nothing seems to come easy, don’t despair. It’s only temporary. And when it does come back and it will, what are a few lost hours of sleep compared to what you’re doing and accomplishing?

And one last note: shortly after my book came out, an acquaintance greeted me with “Well, here’s the author!?” I replied, “Please. An author?” They asked “Are you happy with it?” I, wanting it to have been perfect and seeing faults that no one else could, responded, “No. I wish I could have done it better.” Their reply, “Then you really are an author!” I hate know-it-alls!

Enough is enough.

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Twenty-one years ago, when the Canadian government enacted a moratorium to cease cod fishing, an entire industry and way of life was wiped out. 40,000 jobs gone, just like that. In that first ten year period of the moratorium which is still in effect eleven years later after the original cutoff date, 20% of the population left the island never to return.

17-1737-6JI3D00Z A way of life no more.

The catches had been getting smaller and then were legislated into nothingness. There were several theories as to why this decline had happened: natural predation by other species, pollution, climate change, and overfishing. It’s pretty clear now what has happened, with overfishing if you will, claiming the title of winner. Government mismanagement and greed literally took the livelihood of out of the Newfoundlander‘s hands. But it is now apparent that climate change has a contributing hand in this. A paper published a couple of months ago stated that fish all over the world are becoming smaller because of the warmer waters. This precludes them from reaching full maturity and breeding normally. That is now leading to a further decline in viable fish which will lead to a larger cascading effect on the rest of the global fish population, Newfoundland included. There’s a one-two punch that would be hard for anyone from which to recover.

Now, whatever little remains of Newfoundland’s fishing stocks is under further assault. And assault is the operable word. In 2007, the southern coast of Newfoundland was seeing infestations of a new species, heretofore unknown of in that province, called the green crab. It has since grown more serious. The introduction of them is not necessarily a problem introduced by man, but it is likely to be an element of it. Even unknowingly, we are adept at mucking things up.

The green crab is a voracious predator eating anything and everything, size be damned. Lobsters? Tasty. Shrimp? Oh, yeah. Cod? What do you think? And currently there is no known remedy for them. They affect the ecological biodiversity wherever they settle. Whatever small chance there might have been for a return of the cod is threatened by this non-native species. What is next? A land to live on which is as hard as its rocks once again is getting hammered. And it appears to be a helpless situation.

One has to believe there are Newfoundlanders saying to themselves and each other, “Enough is enough.” Yes. Yes, indeed.

Arn? Narn. nation.

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If anyone ever wants to move to another country and apply for citizenship of said country, there are myriad hoops to jump through, not to mention the legal fees involved. I know as I’ve aimlessly looked into it. Over the past few years, as Arn? Narn. became less of an idea, dream, and project and more of the book it became, I’ve wanted to share what Newfoundland in my eyes is all about. The book and by extension this blog is my take on it.

As the book has now been out just over three months and to unanimously good-to-great reviews, I’ve been imploring (well, maybe begging even) my readers to contact Jon Stewart of The Daily Show so I can share Arn? Narn. with a larger audience.

2178706189_8ed438e2fb Yeah, this guy.

You are, in effect, the Arn? Narn. nation. And what better way to express that than wearing the colors of our beloved nation? Well, with an Arn? Narn. t-shirt! You’re probably asking yourself right now, “Gee, how do I get one of those rare, limited edition, not available in any store or on TV commercials, fine, cotton, apparel-quality t-shirts?”

Simple, even though it does smack a little bit of bribery. All you have to do is send Jon Stewart at The Daily Show a note telling him how much he needs to have this book and its humble (!) author (me) on his show. There are three reviews currently on Amazon under the book’s title. If you would copy and paste any one of them and send to: guestpitch@thedailyshow.com with a note suggesting, maybe even imploring, him to do this and copy me at bmeisterman@comcast.net, then you can win a t-shirt complete with the really cool Arn? Narn. logo. As I mentioned early, this really is a limited edition, so the first three who do this, win. Yeah, it’s that easy. And you’ll be a t-shirt-wearing member of Arn? Narn. Nation.

Basic CMYK The really cool Arn? Narn. logo.

If, no, rather when, Jon capitulates, and it’s clear which one was the deciding suggesting e-mail, then you’ll also win a signed copy of Arn? Narn. Yup, it’s that easy. You too will now be a member of Arn? Narn. nation. And you won’t even need a passport.

This is serious.

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The holidays, formerly at our throats, are now behind us. My trip to NYC  last week went well, but still no invitation from Jon Stewart of The Daily Show to appear on behalf of Arn? Narn. So, now it’s time to resume my effort to get exposure for my book. Invoking an old Newfoundland tradition, I could show up at the studio as a Mummer in an attempt to crash the show. Unlike most homes in Newfoundland, I am sure they have an adept security staff that would hinder any progress I might make in speaking with Jon. What a paranoid nation we’ve become! I’m harmless. Mostly. OK. Totally.

4198317552_a799b422e1 Newfoundland Mummers – sort of harmless.

But like an ardent Weight Watchers member, Stewart is avoiding me like an-all-you-can-eat buffet. Hey, Jon. I can assure you I’ve no poly-triglycerides, no peanuts (if you’re allergic and you may very well be), and no trans fats. I told you I was harmless, right? So why resist?

So, loyal readers, I ask you again, and it won’t be the last time, help me get the word out to Mr. Stewart. Share with him this link to the video for the book (copy and paste to your browser): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LpFIb1s-sgw&list=HL1343692229&feature=mh_lolz . The e-mail address is: guestpitch@thedailyshow.com .

Dear Jon,

Take a look at this book. It’s really cool and I’d love to hear what this guy is all about.

Newfoundlanders and their connection to the sea December 3, 2012

Bruce Meisterman is a photographer and the beauty of this book is in the photography. The text is sparse. Each chapter starts with a minimal yet informative narrative on topic and then the often full page photographs tell the rest of the story. Meisterman tells the story of the end of cod fishing in Newfoundland, the moratorium put on the industry in 1996 and the effect that has had on the fishing industry and the people. He explains that fishing is not just an industry to Newfoundlanders but a way of life born into these island people, a cultural heritage that defines their history, art, music, dance and craft. He paints a grim picture that is mostly blamed on over-fishing, government mismanagement, and greed. But as anyone knows who has visited Newfoundland (I haven’t) or knows a “Newfie” (I’ve known several) they can tell you that Newfoundlanders are not a downhearted people. They are down-to-earth people with no pretensions, full of the joy of life with a sense of humour and love of the folk arts born into them. Meisterman also tries to convey this in his book and succeeds to a point.The choice of black and white photography both aids and hinders the author’s objectives. The desolate, stark countryside is powerfully represented in this medium, especially the winter scenes with the snow and ice along with the sandy shores of the lonely beaches and yet the beauty of the land is missing when we cannot see the green of the foliage and colours of wildflowers growing close to the ground on the rock. The death of the fishing industry is brought home with the b/w photos of clapboard homes, churches and graveyards and yet the life essence of the people is missing when we cannot see the bright colours used to paint houses, lighthouses, murals and folk art signs. Also the revelry of a kitchen party is missing when shown in black and white and yet the contrast between the joy of the people and the poverty of the economy is marked in this medium. An enchanting book with a sad tale told with optimism, but one that does not end on a sad note.”Even now, Newfoundland is moving into its new reality…The Newfoundland spirit is anything if not indomitable. A people who came to live at terms with the sea will find their way here as well.”

OK, Jon, I’m just down the street…

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It’s been said that timing is everything. That said, I can save you, Jon Stewart of The Daily Show, some money because I’ll be in NYC on Monday and Tuesday of next week. Put me on the show, dammit! You won’t have to pay for airfare or lodgings even. I promise to be entertaining. Really. I’ll bring a book and sign it for you and won’t even charge you for it! I’ll tell you all you never thought you needed to know about Newfoundland and the crisis that will be upon us before your children are grown. Yeah, it’s that important.

Why do you resist? Look, I know you’re locked into your contract until the middle of 2015. I can wait. I’ve waited longer than that for some other things that I won’t get into on this post. (If you’re interested, we can talk about it while I’m in the Green Room.) But, really. Why wait? The subject is of global importance and you can help bring it to the attention of so many. Why, you could even consider it a public service! True, it’s not tax deductible but before long nothing will be anyway.

I’m calling on all my friends, both of them, to petition you to do this. Soon, you won’t be able to go anywhere without hearing about my photo-documentary book, Arn? Narn. You’ll wonder why you waited so long. Hell, I’m wondering why you’re waiting so long.

Trailer21 This is the book, Jon. You have a copy already!

So to all my loyal readers out there, send Jon e-mails, Tweets, Facebook ‘em, flowers, fruitcakes (You know, the ones left over from Christmas – no skip that, he’s Jewish), whatever. Let’s get him moving on this.

To reach him, you might try this e-mail address – guestpitch@thedailyshow. com . It couldn’t hurt.

Game on…

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Now that the holidays are mercifully behind us, we can get back to our everyday routines no matter how mundane they may be. If you’re lucky, and I believe I am, mundane is not a word you usually use to describe your days. With that in mind, my effort to get exposure for Arn? Narn. is gearing up again.

Simply put, I need your help in getting Jon Stewart of The Daily Show to talk about Arn? Narn. on his show. If you would participate in this grass-roots effort, then you can help spread the word about what is happening to all the wild, edible fish in our world. I’ve posted below an e-mail that if you would copy, paste and send to Jon, then maybe we can get his attention. I’ve already sent him a press kit, a copy of the book, and have enlisted your help to do this. Let’s not stop now. Here’s the message and here’s where to send it to:  guestpitch@thedailyshow.com .

Thanks for your help.

Hi Jon,

Just wanted to drop you a line saying how much I love your show. I’ve recently read a photo-documentary book that I think you’d be interested in. It’s called Arn? Narn. by Bruce Meisterman. It’s topical and important. I thought I’d also include a review of the book. Hope you enjoy it.

Arn? Narn. by Bruce Meisterman

“’Arn? Narn.” It is said to be
the shortest conversation
in Newfoundland.’”
 
While reading this book and looking through the photos, I had to wonder whether the author lived in Newfoundland, or had extreme interest and visited in order to document his story.
 
Arn? Narn is a photography novel filled with black and white photographs taken in Newfoundland. The supporting text tells the story of the struggling culture. They thrived off of fishing for cod. Without an abundance of cod, now, they are trying to make end meet however they can. It also expresses the culture of the people. Through the photos of citizens you get a hint as to what the people are like that live there.
 
While there is text surrounding the pictures telling the story of the suffering culture in Newfoundland, I feel like the photos are telling the real story. You can feel great emotion just looking at the photos. More than you would feel with just text alone. That is the beauty of these types of book. They incorporate two different ways of telling a story to make you truly understand their meaning. Without the text, the pictures would have no place. You wouldn’t know what you were looking at. Without the pictures, the story would be emotionless.
 
This book is a beautiful representation of how these types of book are supposed to be laid out — Beautifully written text to accompany the truly emotion-filled photos of the struggles in Newfoundland.
 
Not knowing much about Newfoundland, I found this book informational and well as a pleasing to the eyes. I feel like a have knowledge of a new culture that I never knew about before.
 
Arn? Narn is a beautiful story told through words and breathtaking photography.

5/5 stars for me – Courtney Bauman

No shortage of…

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A couple of weeks ago, I mentioned that I’d be writing about some declining resources around us. Certain things will be harder to obtain and will now always be in short supply. But at this point I would rather focus on some other resources beyond the obvious.

As we wend our way through the obstacle course known as the holidays, it’s all too common to reflect back on the year just past. Were there heartbreaks? Of course. Were there joys? Oh, yes. And everything in between. Like in any other year past, there was no shortage of any of those in 2012. That is what some would call the texture of our lives. That’s accurate enough, but I think minimizes their import. The resources I’m thinking about right now come from what is I believe an inexhaustible source: the human spirit. With that in mind, here, in no particular order of importance, is what I hope for all of you – an unlimited amount of:

Laughter – may you laugh long and heartily every day; sunny days/rainy days – both are good for the soul; smiles – they cost nothing but are so powerful; hugs – for others and most importantly, you; kindness – no explanation needed other than don’t forget it; kisses – all types – give freely!; a warm hand on someone’s shoulder when they need it; understanding – it needn’t cost as much as we seem to “charge” for it; gentleness – this is where real strength resides; serenity; peace – both internally and externally; truth; and so on and so on.

Lest you think I left out the most important wish for you, no, I haven’t. I saved it ’til last; LOVE. From this, all the others will come. Be open, be tender, be gentle. Have a wonderful new year!

Bruce

A Newfoundland Christmas post-Christmas poem

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I Just received this this morning from a friend of mine in Newfoundland. Sometime ago, I wrote about Mummering at Christmas time in Newfoundland. This little poem does a good job in describing it. Hope you enjoy it.

A Newfoundland Christmas by James Rogin

‘Twas a night after Christmas in old Newfoundland.
The fire in the place was blazing just grand.
I sat on the chesterfield holding the phone,
While the wife’s in the kitchen making a scone.
When all of a sudden there was a loud rap,
And someone was banging tap a tap, tap.

I went to the door and who should appear,
But a “Mummer” or two looking for beer.
They wore old pillow cases,
That well covered their faces,
And I knew our houses were part of their quests.
So I welcomed them in, these old special guests.

They spoke in strange voices,
Saying I had to make choices,
As to who was who in that strange odd pair,
And so I played a part in this yule time affair.
I quickly named a name that wasn’t quite right.
So they drak my drink and went off into the night.

I never found who my callers were that year.
But I’m glad they came with all that good cheer.
And I hope this tradition will never come to an end,
For this is good fun to have with a friend.
And I’ll remember this Christmas wherever I go,
For I love Newfoundland, this will always be so.

Water, water, everywhere…

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That was to be the title of my next book. But researching that particular subject turned out to be an incredibly difficult task. Not that there wasn’t any information available. No, quite the contrary. There was too much. Thanks to a wonderful tool called Google Alerts, I was updated on water news daily. And there was a lot of it. Truth be told – there was too much for me to disseminate. Unlike water, there is no shortage of information about the future of water. Hell, if information was water, we’d all be drowning in the stuff. So unhappily, I put that subject back on the shelf for now. But that does not mean I’ve given up on learning about it. At the same time, I do not want to play the role of a Cassandra either, but this is a serious subject.

As I wrote in my last blog post, I was going to spend some time writing about our planet’s limited resources. And if you haven’t figured it out by now, this one is about water. Globally, we are reaching some tipping points in regards to many of our resources. For the past few decades, much has been written and said about oil and rightfully so. Unless the theory of abiotic oil is correct, and few believe this to be the case, then we are most likely running out of oil. There is no corresponding abiotic theory on water though. It has taken years for people to discover that water is becoming an increasingly more valuable commodity. It is only now that it is beginning to take center stage on the world as a limited resource.

The most obvious, visible impact on water’s availability is drought. Most people can identify with that even if they’ve never experienced it first hand. But beyond failing crops and people going without water, and these are not to be minimized, not much other thought has generally been given to water.

However in the coming years, we can expect to see water politicized as never before, both here and abroad. Water rights are becoming an election issue and a states rights issue. Wars will be fought over water much as they are now over oil. It will become a geopolitical tool used selfishly and perhaps maliciously. Who will become the Saudi Arabia of water? Where will the new speculators come from?… and you know they will be there. There are a lot of questions and not many answers yet.

As we should have learned during the first oil crisis in the early 1970′s, we could not continue to use that particular resource profligately, still we did. The same is equally true of water. Using water to keep golf courses green in the desert flies in the face of good stewardship. In New Mexico, a dusty, dirty car is the sign of someone monitoring their water use carefully. There are not many green lawns there nor should there be. They are coming to grips with it before most of us are because they have to.

There are of course numerous ways for the individual to do their part to help keep consumption down and it is necessary. I am not minimizing that at all either. But, we are facing a new time in history where once again, many may be at the mercy of those who control a resource that they, like so many others, need and are willing to fight for it. Such is the situation when a resource is limited or running out and others play games with it. And that is what the future regarding water will look like. Our politicians need to become aware of this and start preparing. After all, there is nothing wrong with a dusty car and a brown desert.

We can’t continue to do this.

For the next few weeks, I’ll be departing from my media campaign to talk about issues of resources. The book Arn? Narn. is certainly, I hope, a powerful statement about the wasting and mismanagement of one resource in particular. But an abasement of another valuable resource is being enacted in more places than I care to think about. And more often.

It has been forcefully driven home with the news about the unbelievably tragic and horrific Connecticut shootings. While I am reluctant to add my voice to the many calling for inquiries how this could have happened, or that we should control guns, or who is at fault, I do look at this as yet another total waste of our most valuable (if you will) resource: our young. For many years, the young have been fodder for our wars and folly. Oftentimes voluntarily; other times through conscription. We are not serious about youthful crime and violence. We are not serious about black on black crime. We treat this resource as inexhaustible which will continue to be there. Just how serious are we? Apparently, not much. Yet.

Yes, there will be calls for changes. There will be experts on how this could happen. There are always those things. But they are a salve and will only be that until we get serious. Is this the time we get serious? Will we stop posturing and get to addressing the issue? We talk about the incidents, but not the causes. In the meantime, we are losing our young in record numbers. And no one is doing a damned thing about it.

Where is the universal outrage? This is yet another issue where sides are taken but only one will speak out while the other remains silent. This happens all too often on other issues. Is this only a one-sided tragedy? Can it really be that easily divided into a pro vs. con argument? Or will we finally grow up and take responsibility for our roles in this? I’m not looking to blame any one side. That’s fruitless. All are culpable to one degree or another. But since that is the case, and it is, we need to put aside political leanings and do this together. I’m not advocating any infringement on one’s rights: rather a reasonable solution to this and one that can be done. Just as in the tax argument – each side is going to have to give up something in order to get it done. What are we waiting for? Our young are dying.

Report from the trenches.

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Now we all know Jon Stewart is busy with the last week of the show for 2012. And we also know there have been Jon Stewart sightings in NYC stores and New Jersey malls purchasing Hanukkah gifts for his friends and family. (Hey, Jon?! How about a few copies of my photo-documentary book, Arn? Narn as gifts?) From what I can tell, he’s a decent enough kind of guy and I wouldn’t expect anything less of him, certainly not around this time of year. He’s what’s known as a Mensch. For of those of you not steeped in Yiddish, please Google it. It’s something we all should strive to be.

Fort Amherstweb From the book, Arn? Narn.

So, one week into the battle and I thought I’d give all of you an update on the effort to bring Jon Stewart around to help me tell the story of Arn? Narn. Some of my trusted deputies have heeded my call and sent him one of the reviews the book has received. This far, we’ve not heard from Mr. Stewart. That’s OK. I’ve got plenty of good reviews to send plus more tricks up my sleeve. If you’ve e-mailed him once, well then do it again. I will ask you several more times to do this. If you haven’t, I really need your help. The more e-mails he gets, the harder it will be for him to ignore it. I’ve posted another really good review below that I would love for all of you to send to him. Please feel free to add any other comments you think would help the cause. And it is a cause. No one will lose their life or limbs, just a minute or two to send it. Causes take time and this is a good cause. If for no other reason than I’m a Jersey guy too and a landsman. C’mon already, Jon!

So here it is. As I said, feel free to embellish it with whatever praise you feel is appropriate or even damnation if you must and send it to: guestpitch@thedailyshow.com and don’t forget to sign it too.

Dear Jon,

I’ve been a fan of yours since you started hosting The Daily Show. And I especially like the segments you do on books. There is one author whose book I would love to see you feature. It’s called Arn? Narn. by Bruce Meisterman. In case you haven’t heard of it yet, here’s an interview I found on the web. Hope you like it.

Arn? Narn.
by Bruce Meisterman (John Gosslee 2012, Softcover) 165 pages $32 cover price
Well doesn’t it just figure that the most beautiful, eloquent depiction of the plight of Canada’s province of Newfoundland was photographed and written by a guy from Tennessee? I actually wonder how many of my fellow Canadians, at least those living from Quebec west to the Pacific even have the slightest idea that the Newfoundland fishing industry is gone? Over-fished and subject to God knows how much environmental damage, the former vast swimming fields of cod that ships could barely make their way through are now – gone. And my dear fellow, they aren’t coming back no longer how long a moratorium on fishing remains in place.
That might be a little hasty. I’m sure that given another 10,000 years or so the Earth will manage to repair the damage done to it by the ignoramuses who run our governments and carbon fuel-based industries. However, that sort of time frame isn’t going to do much good for the citizens of the island of Newfoundland unless one is a serious believer in cryogenics. ‘Pop us in the freezer luv, an’ be sure to be payin’ th’ electric bill!’
For those who do not know the place, Newfoundland is a large island off Canada’s Atlantic Coast which became a province by the narrowest margin of referendum approval in 1948. To this day there is a suspicion that the late Joey Smallwood, Newfoundland’s first Premier and the driving force behind the winning side may well have stuffed the ballot box with an urgency that the old bosses of Tammany Hall and Chicago politics would have heartily approved.
I have read elsewhere descriptions of Newfoundland as Canada’s Ireland, only with much more ice. Small villages, a harshly lovely landscape and a unique lilt of speech do bear out the comparison. The book’s title reflects on that lilt. As Meisterman puts it:
‘Arn? Narn.’ It is said to be the shortest conversation in Newfoundland. It’s also a prescient description of this culture’s future. Two fishing boats in a harbor are approaching one another, one departing, the other returning. The captain of the departing boat yells out to the captain of the returning boat. ‘Arn?’ The other captain’s reply, ‘Narn.’ Translated, ‘Any fish?’ ‘No fish.’ And that is the story.
The rest of Arn? Narn is an expansion on the theme as Meisterman takes his camera through the island and records the villages, the kitchen concerts, the colourfully painted mailboxes and the great white sheets of ice piled onto the winter shores. He is a magnificent photographer and given his other career as a cinematographer he has a sense of how to compile images into a silent narrative. Thankfully, he also shot the pictures on real film. For all the glories of the digital world, there is still something more tactile, more real if you will to a photograph captured directly onto film then developed by hand. It is much more the medium of the artist.
Textually, Meisterman is a faithful journalist in his observations. Perhaps he over-cooks his praise for the islanders generosity and welcoming nature, one starts to think of hard-boiled Newfoundlanders as lovable Smurfs, yet if one has to err that is certainly preferable to condescension or worse yet ignoring the whole culture.
I do wish that the book itself was larger and in hardcover to better show off the prints inside. If Arn? Narn proves as successful as it should (for one thing, no school library should be without a copy), perhaps a deluxe edition might be in the offing. I certainly hope so. In the meanwhile, Canadians owe a gentleman from Tennessee a nod of thanks for showing us a portion of our own country.
Be seeing you.
So, what do you think, Jon? Let’s learn more about this.
Thanks for your time.

I warned you, Stewart. But, noooo, you didn’t want to listen.

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As Sherlock Holmes was fond of saying, “Watson, the game is afoot.” And so it is, so it is. I am encouraging any and all of this blog’s readers to help me in my quest, not for the grail, but something equally hard to achieve: a guest spot on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. This is how it’s going to go down.

I’ve included a short note and a recent review of my book Arn? Narn. in an e-mail form. If you could copy, paste, and then send to Jon Stewart, we’ll see if collectively we can get this to happen. There will be no casualties. There will be no prisoners. There’s no fiscal cliff. It’s risk free. But, if we can get this to happen, we will have confounded the status quo and proven the masses have a voice. Are you with me? Let’s do this! My thanks to you in advance.

Here’s the e-mail to copy, paste, and send to guestpitch@thedailyshow.com:

Jon,

Have you seen this? It’s an incredible book called Arn? Narn. You’ve got to have the author, Bruce Meisterman on your show. Look at this review it just got.

Bruce Meisterman - Arn? Narn.

Gosslee $32.00
ISBN 978-0-9833655-2-5
This is Bruce Meisterman’s first book and gee whiz, I sure as hell will be interested to see what he is capable of when he gets warmed up. I have seldom been so impressed with an author’s choice of subject or his presentation of it, and if a read of this astonishing book doesn’t leave unsettling questions haunting the corners of your mind, then you lack imagination.
‘Arn? Narn’ is said to be the shortest possible conversation in Newfoundland and is a fabled exchange between two cod skippers. One, going out, asks, caught anything? The other, returning, says not. Fifty years ago, that reply would have been inconceivable, but by the 1990s, Newfoundland cod stocks had collapsed to 1% of the 1960s level and they have never recovered. Even when it had become clear that stocks were in free fall, nobody did anything more than form committees, which produced long, worthy reports instead of action. The consequence is that in 2012, rural Newfoundland is falling to pieces, the population has fallen by roughly a quarter and ghost towns are a reality. Worse is yet to come.
Does this matter to us? Fish stocks are doing the same thing all over the world and by some estimates the majority of species will be at unsustainable levels by 2050, but our current generation of politicians is so weak and venal that nothing is going to be done about it, despite the clear danger it presents to us all. The depressing tale of Newfoundland is no more than a matinee for what is about to happen next and Arn? Narn manages to paint the awful reality of this scenario better than any scientific report I have ever read. Why? Because the story is told in striking monochrome photographs that let you see what is happening for yourself. The text is sparse, but what it lacks in extent it makes up for in punch and the end result is a book you might just possibly flick through in 10 minutes, but which you will remember for the remainder of your life.

© fishingbookreviews 2011 – design by Jon Ward-Allen, words and pictures by Andrew Herd

So it begins…

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If this were the 1940′s or some such bygone era, the newsreels would be filled with footage of countries arming themselves to the teeth in expectation of battle. Black and white images of soldiers marching off to confrontations yet unplanned, kissing their loved ones goodbye, and smiling innocently.

This is nothing like that. This will be guerrilla warfare as practiced by the Viet Cong. This will be hit and run. Graffiti artists leaving their tags for all to know they were here. Oh, yes. This will be a war with no end soon in sight.

Dramatic? To quote a former failed VP candidate: You betcha. Warranted? Perhaps only in my fevered dreams. But like in any other Southeast Asian war, I will pursue this doggedly. (Yes, that was A Princess Bride reference). So, please excuse the purple prose, but I’m just getting started. And I’m going to need all the help I can get. The line forms on the right for new enlistees. Come to think of it, I’ll skip the call for volunteers and just commence with conscription right now. If you’re reading this, consider yourself drafted. The wages are poor, the dangers are really not very great, but oh, the reward!

We few, we happy few, we band of brothers (oops! – Shakespeare wandered in here!). we will be going up against a giant, a media giant: the great and powerful awesome Comedy Central and its minions, led by Jon Stewart.

OK. Wait a minute. This is starting to sound like some drug-induced dream. I apologize. I’m just getting stoked for trying to get Arn? Narn. on The Daily Show. In the next posting, I’ll be laying out the game plan to do this. Look, the story that Arn? Narn. tells is an important one and I think The Daily Show is one of the best outlets for it. But, I’ll need your help. Who’s with me?

Stewart, don’t say you weren’t warned!

Slowly, slowly… then BAM! It starts all over again.

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As the holidays approach, the opportunity to create new PR events is slowing down considerably. Consequently, I’m seeking new directions in which to sustain some buzz. If you’ve been following this blog for anytime, you know what I’ve been up to. The most recent is a new campaign to get some exposure for Arn? Narn. on the Daily Show with Jon Stewart. This post will not be about that, but future posts will be as I step up the pressure. Stay tuned for that as it should be amusing to say the least. And I will be calling on all readers to help me in this endeavor. More on that to come.

So as it slows down, I’m now blessed with some time to start the new book. I can happily and officially say it has begun! It too will be a photo-documentary, but much different from Arn? Narn. Without divulging too much, it will be about cultural differences that are becoming more and more obvious in this country. It will be done entirely in the US for that is where this difference is most significant.

It too will have a blog with one major difference: I will be writing the blog as I write and photograph the actual book. As I get closer to the start of actual photography, I’ll post here the name of the new blog and invite all to join me on this new adventure. One of the nice things about doing it this way is I’ll be able to have your feedback on the book as it progresses. In one sense, this will be your book too.

In the meantime, I will be advancing my crusade concerning Jon Stewart and enlisting your help along the way. What’s in it for me, you’re thinking. If, no, make that when the book (meaning me) gets on the show, all of you will get a shout-out. Not a bad reward and a shot at fame for a small effort, right? Details will follow.

I’m calling you out, Jon Stewart… you man enough?

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A couple of months ago, I sent a guest pitch e-mail for my photo-documentary book Arn? Narn. to Jon Stewart of The Daily Show on Comedy Central. Unlike many others I’ve submitted, someone from his show did respond and for that I give them immense credit.

However, they turned me down. OK. I can live with that. I’m not happy about it, but, you know, it happens. But as those who know me, I am one persistent SOB. I wouldn’t let it end there.

Shortly after my summary dismissal by The Daily Show, I sent them a press kit with pictures, info, a really nice personal letter, with a link to the video book trailer for Arn? Narn. (If you haven’t seen it, just go to YouTube and type in my name. It’ll be the best 3 minutes and seven seconds of your day. Well, maybe not the best, but good.) This time, no response. Now I understand they’re busy and all that, but consider with what.

A couple of months ago, Jon had on an author named Paula Broadwell. Yes, THAT Paula Broadwell. She was out there thumping for her book, All In. OK,  granted she looks a hell of lot better than me. Hell, she looks a lot better than most of us. I give her that. And then it came out she slept with some famous general, a Petraeus or someone. Patton maybe. OK, Jon, she’s got me beat there too.

But Jon, listen to me, over here by the third camera; is that what The Daily Show is now stooping to? It’s kind of tacky in a National Enquirer sort of way. What’s next? the Kardashians? Let’s get back to the kind of issues of which you do so well.

As I mentioned, there’s this new book out called Arn? Narn. OK, I’ll cop to it. I’m the author. And it’s about a very serious issue, the kind that’s perfect for your show despite what your underpaid talent booker says. And by now, you should have received an autographed copy complete with a personal message from me just for you. You think FedEx is cheap? What are you waiting for?

So yeah, I could go to that Colbert guy, but, really? He doesn’t have the gravitas nor the insight that you possess. And he doesn’t have a copy of the book either. Uh, hold on for a min…

What’s that Stephen? You heard about my book? Wait a mo…

C’mon Jon…no, no, not Colbert! It’s always been you.

All things considered, I’d rather be in St. John’s.

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Nine years ago today, I was purchasing gear and planning for my first trip to Newfoundland. Little did I know how transforming a journey it would become. I would be leaving in just four months for this then new adventure. And that adventure has continued nine years later.

How was I to know what effect it would have on me? I certainly did not expect it to change me. How foolish was that? One does not invest so much time and effort, passion, and dreams without it having a profound effect. No, not at all.

      St. John’s, Newfoundland.

There isn’t day that goes by that I don’t think about Newfoundland and everything I experienced while working on Arn? Narn. Whether it’s the incredible land and sea, its people, the music, the photos I took which are permanently fixed in my memory, I can’t get it out of my mind.

So, what is the “cure” for that? Do I need an intervention? An attitude adjustment? I’m not complaining, mind you. I’m just saying this has taken up permanent residence in my head.

All along the process of bringing this book to market, I’ve thought about doing a book signing in Newfoundland. The more I think about it, the more I’d like to do it. I’ve certainly missed the all-important Christmas season to do that, but truthfully, that could have never happened. So now, I’ve got to figure how to get my sorry butt up there. It would be good to visit with my friends and just chill, both literally and figuratively, (it gets a bit cold in winter), in Newfoundland. Hey, it’s a tough job, but…

Yes, you in the third row…

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So what happens next? Your guess is as good as mine. Maybe even better. Now that the initial push is over, I have to find a way to continue the PR effort. I am open to all suggestions. If as a loyal reader, you have any ideas, send ‘em over, I’m game. If I use any of them, the creator of that or those particular ideas will win an autographed copy of my photography book Arn? Narn. What could be easier?

Ideas I will not use: advertising on food products, Val-Pak coupons, hygiene products, costumes, that kind of stuff. So what do you think? I’m game.

There is still an upcoming combination exhibition and book signing in December and a radio “appearance” this Saturday. Then, I’m open. Book party at your home? Sure, why not? (As long as I can drive there, although an opportunity to go back to Newfoundland can always entice me.) Signing at a religious institution? No problem as long as all are welcome. Gas station openings? Ehh, not so much.

You see, I’m ready to do anything, well – pretty much anything, to get this book out there. Your ideas, no matter how wild or out-of-the-box they may be, are appreciated.

So what do you think? Are any of you game out there? Wanna get in on the ground floor of a new marketing push?

Thank you sir. Please, may I have some more?

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It’s a fairly quiet time right now. Arn? Narn. has been out for about a month now and the initial media push is calming down. There’s a radio interview tomorrow and an exhibition/book signing next month. After that, who knows?

But the reviews continue to come in and I thought I’d share some with all of you. Nothing like a bit of shameless, self-indulgent, self-promotion right?

From Hubert O’Hearn in Canada -”Well doesn’t it just figure that the most beautiful, eloquent depiction of the plight of Canada’s province of Newfoundland was photographed and written by a guy from Tennessee?” and “… is a magnificent photographer and given his other career as a cinematographer he has a sense of how to compile images into a silent narrative.” Thank you very, very much, Hubert.

From the fishingbookreviews online: “This is Bruce Meisterman’s first book and gee whiz, I sure as hell will be interested to see what he is capable of when he gets warmed up. I have seldom been so impressed with an author’s choice of subject or his presentation of it, and if a read of this astonishing book doesn’t leave unsettling questions haunting the corners of your mind, then you lack imagination.” They also made this their Book of the Month! Damn! Thank you too!

I could list more, but these are among my favorites and with obvious reason. You know that your family and friends will be, at the very least, kind in their judgements so as not to hurt the delicate ego we artists possess. But when people who have nothing to gain are so complimentary, you can’t help but take some pride in your accomplishment and take note of their incredible insight and impeccable good taste. It’s a great feeling and one you don’t want to end. Wow!

My new balancing act or “Up on the tightrope…” with regards to Leon Russell.

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OK. After a long gestation period and an intense pre-publication year, Arn? Narn. has been published. I’m now in the hawking-my-book period, doing as much PR as possible to generate interest and of course sales. Yet, like so many other writers/artists/musicians, I do have a real job as well.

So of course I need to find time to do it all. There are always family responsibilities to attend to, other interests, work, music lessons (wait for my new upcoming CD… just joking!), and it’s a pretty full and good life.

But wait! Did I hear someone say “Are you going to do another book?” Could it be? Yes, I am! “When do you have the time?” All good questions. When DO I have the time? That said, I’ll find it. It is like walking a tightrope, you’ve got to keep your balance lest you fall off.

The truth of the matter is I am now in the early stages of the next book. I gotta tell you, it’s like crack or at least what I think crack is like. It is hard yet enjoyable work and extremely addictive: the research, the planning, implementation, and then the start – filled with hopeful anticipation with no blind alleys, yet, not knowing where it’s going to lead. It’s sort of like a blind date, but one-sided. Not your cup of tea? Walk away and no one’s hurt. On to the next one. In dealing with people, that’s callous. Starting a new book – not so much. There have been a few new book ideas since Arn? Narn. was completed, but like so-so dates, they’ve not been called again. (Sorry, you really are nice, but, no, I will not call you again!)

I have settled on a new idea and it is entirely different from Arn? Narn. The only similarity is that it too will be a photo-documentary book. More on it as I get deeper into it. It could result in another blog solely devoted to it. We’ll see.

So getting back to the question: “When do you have the time?” As I said a couple of paragraphs back, I’ll find it. Finding one’s voice can take a long time. Once you have found it, you want to keep using it. I think that analogy is an apt one. A singer must use their voice continuously to keep it supple and in shape. And I don’t want to lose mine now after waiting so long to discover it.

Blog-slinger.

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For the past 15 months or so, I’ve been diligently writing, recounting my experiences photographing in Newfoundland, and getting Arn? Narn. ready for publication. Add in the PR aspect of letting the world know about it and then acting on the results of said PR and it’s easy to see that it has consumed a large amount of my time. Thankfully, I’ve been able to do a lot of it in evenings and on weekends. Throw in lunchtimes too. The good news is that my work doesn’t appear to have suffered from these extra-curricular activities.

But now, this has moved into wholly new territory. If you’ve been reading this blog, then you know I write this blog. No one else. So, when a request comes in to do a guest blog piece, I’m starting to feel like a hired gun. I know this is all part of the deal, but it is a little weird.

This morning while channel surfing and having my coffee, I came across an old black and white TV show from the sixties called Have Gun, Will Travel. Starring Richard Boone, it told the tales of a black-clad gunslinger for hire. The title of the show was the slogan on his business card which was also adorned with the knight piece from a chess game. This one character might have been solely responsible for actors and/or stars having only one name such as Cher and that ilk: his being Paladin. That name comes from the paladins, being the foremost warriors of King Charlemagne‘s court. He was a knight. And he was for hire.

Richard Boone. (Not in Paladin black.)

And that’s sort of how I feel when I have to write a guest post for a reviewer’s blog. It’s all part of the new way books are marketed. I can’t merely re-post a piece from this blog or the search engines will banish all parties involved to a fate worse than Prodigy. (Look it up.) So, I have to write something new. For anyone reading this who also blogs, you know that’s not the easiest thing to do. As I wrote in a previous post, it’s our wish to keep it fresh. This is a great test of our ability to write and attempt not to repeat ourselves. and attempt not to repeat our selves. Yeah, right.

I liken these posts to the “Director’s Cut” versions of films. “You know, this is the film I really wanted to make.” Or, “I felt as if there were too many unanswered questions.” Or, “It really needed the resolution in the second act, you know.” That kind of stuff. Expand, expound, and expect people to like it. Yeah, OK. But don’t get on me too hard if it seems a little familiar.

So going forward, I have a new occupation and my new card will say “Have blog, will travel.” Why not?

We interrupt this blog to bring you… Halloween.

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Last night being All Hallow’s Eve, I couldn’t help but put something of a Newfoundland spin on it. At Christmas time in Newfoundland, in addition to all the normal festivities including the prerequisite kitchen parties, is the custom of Mummering. I’ve written about this previously, but I’ll recap. Complete strangers, oddly dressed, descend upon unsuspecting resident’s homes and demand food and drink, carouse, and usually stay until tired or their true identities are discovered and then they leave to repeat said mayhem in yet another home. It can get out of hand. Once the government even tried to outlaw it, but the Newfoundlanders were having none of that, thank you b’y.

This year, as we get ready to dole out the ritual baksheesh to the little and not-so-little ones, I got to thinking how cool it might be to dress as a mummer here in the US.

This is Alphonse.

This is a fairly typical mummer “outfit” and is not the kind of costume one gets in a store. No, this requires creativity or color blindness at the very least. These figurines are from a collection created by two Newfoundland women, Pam and Cara. They produce one new limited edition mummer every year and are usually quite funny. Yet, they are accurate and indicative of what one might have knocking on their door come Christmas time.

Nish from Merasheem.

Now, can you imagine someone showing up at your house on Halloween in this? You might be inclined to call the police or at least use some pepper spray. But generally speaking in Newfoundland, it’s usually just harmless fun. However, I would not suggest walking into a convenient store dressed like this. They do have surveillance cameras after all.

And of course in the spirit(s) of the holiday, a toast must be made. Have another one, Fannie?

Fannie from Fogo.

The other possible downside in dressing this way for Halloween is that you might get picked up for vagrancy. After all, I don’t think we’re in Newfoundland anymore, Toto.

Yes, it’s true, (sob!), I sold out!

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It used to be at one time one was not supposed to trust anyone over the age of 30. If you did, you were a traitor to the “cause” (whatever that may have been), you could no longer be trusted, and you were a sellout. A pariah in your own time.

So, I have to be considered a pariah, a traitor, whatever. I am over 30, I trust people over 30 too, and, I confess, I’m a sell-out. Hi. I’m Bruce and I’m a sell-out. Hmmm, confession is good for the soul. But it’s not the sell-out you might think I’m talking about.

Last week, I had my first public book signing. Never having done one of these before, I had no idea of what to expect. As I also had no advance person to set things up, there was no virgin, Alsatian spring water laced with partridgeberry juice as I had previously requested. (No, not really.) Would the press be there? No, again. Would there be book groupies? (Are they called bookies?) No. There was a display of my book Arn? Narn. in the front of the store and a section set up in the back with a desk and two sections of several rows of seats in the oft-chance someone might want to hear whatever prattle I was peddling that evening. Oh, I had to speak too? Oh, yes, but to who? Whom?

I need not have worried. Before too long, the section, all the chairs, were filled and it became standing room only. They must have thought this was going to be a Sham-Wow demonstration! SRO! I couldn’t believe it. An announcement was made that the author (me!) was going to speak in a few minutes. Deep breath time.

Four score and seven… no, no, that’s not right. This is the kind of rambling I wanted to avoid while speaking. I think I succeeded. The audience grew a bit larger and I did my talk with a Q&A after. It went very well with some good laughs and then the book-signing. The moment of truth.

The line formed immediately and I was chatting, signing, and inscribing books to all those people whose impeccable good taste brought them there that evening. No Sham-Wow for them. It was for Arn? Narn. Before it was all over, the bookstore had sold out their sizable stock! Hoping against all hope, I had brought more in my car in the event this very unlikely thing occurred. We brought more in.

So… a good night. A very good night. And I have to admit – I’m a sell-out, the kind publishers like. And you know, I’m OK with that.

Oh, myyyy…. with all due respects to George Takei.

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Oh, my. Oh, yes. Omigod. That seems to be more and more my response to news these days about my book, Arn? Narn. And at this point, it’s all good. I’m not certain I had any specific expectations about the response the book might receive. Oh, sure, I had hopes, but they’re all too easily dashed. So I just quietly waited.

Then the first reviews came in. I’ve written about them already, but they were good. They were very good. Then the first book signing at a private home. What fun.

Now what I’m about to report all that happened just yesterday! First, a two-hour stint on a radio program about Canadian music with a focus on Newfoundland and my book. Very enjoyable. It was shaping up to be a good day. Little did I know how good. Let me stop right here and warn you there are going to be a fair amount of “thens” in this post.

Then two of my interviews appeared online yesterday and I don’t think I came off too much like a raving lunatic. Well, maybe not too much. They alone would have been fine for one day. Then I booked two radio interviews.

Then a very nice piece in our weekly arts and entertainment weekly touting the book and mentioning said two hour radio show and upcoming book signing. Then of course is the big book signing this evening.

Then I received an e-mail from the first person in Newfoundland to have seen the book. I’d be lying if I said this wasn’t important to me. I wanted to make sure their impression of the book was positive; that I had portrayed them and their situation accurately and honestly. The response was perfect. Her words, “I love it and… haunting.” Oh, myyyy. I did not want to misrepresent them in the least. It appears I haven’t.

Then, yes another one, I was at an event late yesterday afternoon and the number of people who knew of the book and its signing was amazing. This whole thing is amazing and very gratifying.

So that’s where we are today. The book signing is this evening followed by dinner with friends. This just keeps getting better. So, to Mr. Takei… Oh, myyyy. Indeed.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T.

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So, the small PR machine has been working a bit. Radio appearances – very cool; book signings – also very cool; written interviews -OK, no wait, what? This was a new one to me and I had no idea how difficult they were. It would be a bit of a struggle.

Person-to-person interviews are, I think, easier to do. Essentially, you gather your thoughts together, remember time and dates and names, be polite and friendly and for God’s sake, don’t swear. That’s pretty much it. If you’re not being grilled by 60 Minutes, you should come out of it rather unscathed.

But a written interview? Who came up with that 21st century version of Torquemadian delights? This is a relatively new twist on PR because of the internet. I am in no way complaining or disparaging this. Not at all. I’m merely stating that it is a lot more stressful for me. With the exponential growth of bloggers and the increasing number of book reviewers plying their craft online, the written interview has moved forward in importance.

It goes something like this: you get a request for an interview. Great! But it’s for a written interview. It comes with a set of questions which by and large you would not have any trouble answering in a one-on-one session. However, it’s asking for you to commit your answers to paper or the ethernet in this case. It will then in turn be re-purposed into another’s blog. You may be asking yourself at this time, “And this is  difficult?” Yes, it is.

If it’s only one interview, no sweat. When there are multiple interviews requested, you’d like to make each seem fresh and original. Again, this is not a complaint. It is the question of how does one achieve that freshness time and time again without sounding canned. Each interview is different, yet the information I have to share is essentially the same. I suppose this is normal, but I haven’t found an easy solution yet.

With each new interview, I sit down and try to write the best response possible. In a spoken interview, so much can be said though inflection of voice, laughter, pauses, etc. Not so with the written interview. I must be far more thoughtful and deliberate as to what I write. Each answer must be honest and as insightful as possible. My goal with these is to make the reader feel as if they are speaking directly with me and this is the first time I’ve spoken about this. It is not an easy task and one I take very seriously.

Musicians talk about playing some of their most famous tunes repeatedly. Some of them find new ways to present them, others resent having to play them over and over again. I prefer that first approach. Arn? Narn. is a serious book and at the very least, I owe it that kind of respect.

Has anyone here ever heard of this new thing called the internet?

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Shhhh. Put the dog out, the children to bed, lock the doors – I want to talk with you about something really scary. OK? Everyone settled in? Good. Talk quietly ’cause I don’t want this to get out – it could change everything.

There’s this thing called the internet. Some say Al Gore invented it, but I doubt it. Whatever you may think of him, he’s no evil genius because that’s who designed this thing. It’s everywhere! It’s on your computer, your phone, your iPad, your TV even. I think the world actually lives within the internet. When did this all happen?

The father of the internet?

OK, that’s a bit over the top, right? But the ubiquity of it is amazing and the speed in which things get up and around is truly astonishing. Now we all know this of course, but when it applies to you or something you’ve done or involved with, it can be a little breathtaking.

This morning I checked my e-mail as I usually do before heading out and found a Google alert for my book, Arn? Narn. That’s a good thing. I’ve had alerts before and they were usually not of the surprising kind. This one was.

It was another review. But this one was on Amazon. And happily like the others already received, it was a very positive one. That’s four for four! It’s making me think that even with my manifold doubts and frustrations, I might have really known what I was doing all along with this book. Go figure that one out.

So my meteoric rise to fame had begun. Before long, I’ll probably start issuing impossible demands of those around me. Only red M&M’s, puh-leeze! No, that is not the best table in the house! Waiter, this wine is… yeah, yeah, yeah.

They ARE rather tasty.

Well, yeah, right. Just wait until a lesser review comes in. It’ll be back to drinking Yellow Tail and shopping at Target! Fame is such a fickle thing.